Horrible Holiday

It's just a couple of days till December. And it has actually started to get cold as hell outside. I hate the holidays. I just hate it. Whenever I tell someone that I hate Christmas, they go blank (the kind where it's just dead silent and you can hear crickets). They ask me why I hate it that much and I just do not have the strength to explain everything to them. It just boils down to one thing.

I hate being alone on Christmas.

Since I was a child, I never had a real family to spend Christmas with. With my mom abroad and my dad going loco, I never enjoyed Family gatherings. Yup, my brother would say he feels the same crappy way too.

Aside from having no real family to spend the holidays with, I also have never experienced having a lover during the holidays. The last time I had a Christmas relationship, it turned to be just that - a Holiday fling. Nobody goes "ho-ho-ho" in a post Holiday break up. :(

I think that would answer all their questions.

I love Christmas songs though. They somewhat make me long for that one simple kiss that ends the day after a cup of hot cocoa by the fireplace. I love the cold because I feel very comfortable under a nice toasty comforter. Sigh. Now I am feeling nauseous and depressed.