Christmas Won't be the same without MICKEY.

When I was a child, my dad and mom gave me a large Mickey Mouse stuffed toy as my Christmas gift. My mom told me it was from Santa. I knew they bought it for P100 at Tiongsan. It was big, twice as big as me. And that time it was already expensive. I also knew Santa didn't exist, but didn't care. I have Mickey with me.

Growing up, I never really had presents. Christmas, Birthdays, Graduations. No gifts. Just the ocassional peck on the cheek, tap on the shoulder or a hug. Just that. I never complained. Money was hard to get by those days. So I learned to be thankful for the health and love blah blah blah.

People don't even ask me what I want for Christmas. They have always asked me to give them one though. If they even bothered to ask, I would have asked for WORLD PEACE... or a digital camera... or both.

They said Christmas is in the air. I know of people who would rather celebrate Halloween than be part of the Yuletide season. I know it can be depressing, but who wouldnt want to spend Christmas with their family? Come to think of it, I have already spent 10 years in other people's houses to celebrate Christmas' Eve and New Year's Eve. It wasn't much fun at home. They all sleep early. That's how boring it is at home.

This year would be different. I'll definitely be alone. No family, no friends. Self exile is what I call it, being alone just to prove to everyone that I can make it. With or without them. I am a self-proclaimed masochist.

I wonder where that Mickey Mouse stuffed toy is? I think my mom threw it out together with the trash a couple of years ago. And together with it is the memory of Christmas past, when everyone was happy and hugging and kissing.

I miss those days.