The Forbidden Fruit

Like a piece of forbidden fruit


I touched its skin and
wondered what would it
feel like sinking my teeth
into its skin, tasting
its magnificent juices and letting some
dribble unto my chest

Waiting in anticipation
I touched, and the fruit trembled
It wanted me to touch it
It wanted me to taste it

The succulent fruit wanted me to devour
its entirety

And like Eve I nibbled

Now I am on fire

I want more

Reconnected: Ramblings on a Warm November Day

Wow. It has been a while. I have not been writing a blog entry for a long time and although I would like to say I have a lot of spare time in my hand, I'd rather spend this precious hours sleeping. It is that stressful.


A very good friend, who has a very successful travel blog, had his 28th birthday yesterday. He was so depressed that he reached that age, and said that he did not have any "accomplishments". You do, I said, telling him that he is a fabulous photographer and that he is a wonderful blogger/writer. 

"I take photos, and blog," he said. "You are a blogger too."

Hmmm. Yes, I am a blogger, although I haven't been doing it for a long long time. It made me guilty.

Guilty, because this was once an outlet of ALL the frustrations I had in life. This was the instrument that I used to let people know I am happy. That I have sad. That I was depressed once in a while. That I had a life and that I was not afraid to let other people know it.

Then I came to Manila to work.

Do not get me wrong, I am happy with what I have achieved so far. Satisfied - if I may say so. There are definitely times when I absolutely had no extra cash to buy what I want, or times when I am so flooded with activities at work that 5 minutes of doing nothing with just a cigarette in my hand keeps me sane - but I am happy.

I used to work hard, and party even harder. Now it's work hard and sleep. I am getting older. I am 30 for crying out loud.

Not that I am complaining. What I am doing now puts food on the table. But just enough.

I think I need a part time job.

____

When old friends reconnect through Facebook or Twitter, I get giddy. I would just want to ask questions, like "How have you been?", or "What do you do now". Sometimes, I wanna ask "Did you ever wonder what happened to me?"

It just seems that even in a world where everything is connected, there are still some friends - that I have met and liked years ago - out there. I am waiting in anticipation for more friends to discover me.

I am just here, and although inviting you for a cup of coffee might not be a good idea with the busy-ness of our schedules and the distance of our locations, I would like to reconnect. For old time's sake.

____

Yup, a lot on my mind today. Maybe it's because I am on leave from work and I have nothing to do but think.

A much deserved break.

It would be nicer if I was on a beach somewhere. 

I'd like to go back to Bolinao. :)

____

Well, I think that's it for now. 

Off to doing nothing again.

I'll be watching babies laughing on Youtube, if you don't mind. :)

Till next time.

Memories

This past few days, I have been trying to look for old photos ever since a single old picture of me came out of nowhere. It is addicting, visiting old sites and friend's profiles, hoping that a piece of my history is found.


I was flooded with memories from years ago, with old friends - some of whom I have never seen again.


Looking at old photos, I wondered. In Baguio I wanted a fast paced life. I wanted to be where everyone was. Now that I have been living as a Manileno, I miss the slow paced Baguio life - when afternoons where spent drinking coffee and with friends and weekends are spent dancing the night away.


I told a good friend about possibly going back home. She said she wished me luck, and that if it makes me happy, I should follow my heart.


But then again, I followed my heart, and I found myself working in Makati and living in Taguig. If you ask me right now if I am happy, I would say I am. But there is something missing. 


For now, I would just look for old pictures. I'd cross the bridge when I get there.

Realization

Coming to realization

I saw my future

Alone

Unloved

Then like an unexpected surprise

YOU

came along.

I used to think fairy tales do not come true

Now I know

Fairy Tales do exist

In a twisted way

You are my knight in shining armour

You caught be unaware

Not ready to leap, yet I did.

It was a leap of faith

And the greatest and happiest gamble I have ever done

I love you.

And this time I do not have to pretend you love me too.