Ramblings: the Coffee Vendo Machine

The coin clinked as it hit the bottom of the coffee dispenser. Oh well, I guess I am the first one to have vendo coffee in this building. I was early by 3 hours just so I could attend a meeting.

Holding the vendo coffee with my two hands, I wondered what I was still doing in this company. I see the same people. I do the same thing each and everyday.

I struggled as I tried to get the last stick of cancer stick I had left from the night before. I didn't get to smoke that much. I was really sleepy and a hit from a fag would definitely wake me up.

I came to the office at 10 pm. My shift officially starts at 1 am. I punched in my employee number into the lobby pc to log in, even though the company prohibits logging in much earlier than the time we are expected to be at the office. F*ck. Why do they even bother? I won't be paid for overtime anyway.

My mom did not want me to go to Europe to work there cause she said it would be hard for me. Duh, the work I have right now sucks, doesn't even cover all the bills without burning a hole in my pocket.

I'd take Italy anytime.

My head hurts.

I wanna go home.

Valentine's Day SUCKS.

A friend once asked me what my favorite holiday is. I said Halloween.

Then the follow-up questions came.

What about Christmas?

How about Independence Day?

April Fool's?

Valentines Day?

I glared at the person who asked me if I liked Valentine's Day. I glared at him cause he was asking me this to taunt me. He knows I did not have any "special someone". Not that I care.

What's with Heart's day anyway?

It is for the chocolate magnates that advertise candy as an aphrodisiac.

It is for women who pester their boyfriends or husbands to buy them pretty little things or all hell will break lose.

It is for flower shops charging exhorbitant prices for a dozen roses.

And, come to think of it, it is for bitter, tiny individuals just like me, trying to get on with life as it is.

The hearts that hung around every mall, every office, every classroom, even every comfort room makes me nauseous. It reminds me that my heart has been torn into microscopic pieces before, and that no amount of glue or tack can really heal it like it was before - way back when I was just a child.

When people wear red to celebrate the awful day, I wear black.

When people exchange kisses, I sleep.

Call me Crazy, but I really think this Valentine b*llsh*t SUCKS. BIGTIME.

I Miss My Angel

Listening to an old song, I remember when you were mine, and I yours.

I promised you that I will always be there when you called, but I broke that promise and I never turned back. If I could only turn back time, I would come back to you, and come back to the time when you were waiting for me to tell you that I still love you, and that I was willing to let go of the fault that you were never part of.

I made you choose between me and the girl who claimed to have your child. You chose me but still I let you go. I let you go because you will never have a future with me, I would never give you children.

It is a terrible fact that I do not want to remember, but everytime I hear this song, I can still see your eyes as you silently pleaded for me to stay. I can vividly remember tears falling down my cheek as I watched your cab drive away - away from the reality that I still love you, but I had to let you go.

I will never be too far away to feel you. I won't hesitate at all, whenever you call.

I tremble inside whenever I remember the way you held my hand, the way you looked into my eyes after we kissed.

And I'll always remember, the part of you so tender, I'll be the one to catch your fall, whenever you call.

My only regret - the biggest regret I've ever had, was that I was never there to gently kiss your tears away. I never understood what you did. Why you gave everything and yet I chose never to go back to your arms.

If I was given a chance to be part of your life again, I will.

As long as I hear this song playing, I will always remember, I loved you, and you are one of the biggest parts of my life.

I will always love you my angel, my Cherubim.

Pictures Can Be Deceiving.

So I got this fabulous tan by the River at Pangasinan 2 weeks ago, and I even took a few photos just to make sure I have proof I had a tan, just in case someone noticed (or wouldn't notice) my tan.

I posted the said photo in a gay lifestyle oriented site, Guys4Men, and after just a couple of minutes after successfully posting it, a lot of guys started sending me messages, wanting to meet me.

Whoa! What just happened here? Funny thing, I have been in the site for more than 3 years, and not once in my G4M life have I received a lot of messages. Messages ranging from "Hi!"s to the endless phone numbers.


Now I truly believe in the saying "Pictures can be deceiving."



LOL.

25 Random Things about Me - from FACEBOOK!

Get to know more about me!

1. I honestly do not know what to write about myself. I keep a blog and make sure that I update it everytime, but when it comes to writing about myself, I'd rather answer questions than just write random stuff.

2. I have 3 blogs, one for the serious me (bogartbogart.blogspot.com), another blog for my gayer version (pintouche.blogspot.com), and another for my gayest(kumekemengkabuhayan.blogspot.com).

3. If Beyonce has Sasha Fierce for an alter ego, I have Beaugarte Beautious. Beaugarte is just a "frenched" name, spelled like a name in French. But it's just Bogart. Long story on that one. Beautious is m gay family name. I don't really think Beaugarte is the alter ego. I think William Charles IS the ultimate alter ego. :)

4. I like the smell of freshly, clean laundry and newly cut grass.

5. I love my name. I will never trade my name for any other.

6. The original spelling of my family name was "CENIT". American missionaries came and registered all the names of the families in Bicol in the early 1920's and when my grand father gave his family name, they spelled it incorrectly - or rather fabulously.

7. I love adobo. I cook great adobo, and I have always been interested in tasting different kinds of adobo to find out ways on how to cook it differently.

8. I designed and created my own outfit for our company's Year end Party. I love it, it is the first formal wear that I have created for myself, or for anyone.

9. I love shoes. Last year I had 4 brand new pair of different stilletos. I may be a big guy, but I thank God for big shoe sizes. :)

10. I have a long torso and short legs. Anatomically speaking, my body is not proportional. It is a good thing that some body parts compromise my leg's lack of length - wink wink*.

11.I always bring a big bag to work. What's in the bag? An umbrella, pens, my wallet, my cellphone, my cellphone's headset and a pair of false eyelashes. I bring big bags because I might stumble upon something worth bringing home - I don't need plastic bags anymore.

12. Although I love talking, I prefer to remain silent at home. When I am at home, I seldom talk, it is my way of resting my voice and just relaxing.

13. When I get angry, I often speak in English. But if I started my tirade with a Tagalog cuss (ie> P*tang*na m*), I usually end the entire paragraph in Tagalog.

14. I think that I need more time to think about 25 Random things about myself.

15. I own 2 pairs of eyeglasses with scratch resistant lens. I am probably the most clumsy person when it comes with objects. One I went out with white sneakers. When I got home that day they were already gray.

16. I walk when I am upset. It helps me clear my mind.

17. I have terribly memory. Once I was talking to guy. He noticed that I didn't recognized him. When I professed that I didn't remember him, he laughed, and said I had already slept with him. Then I remembered. LOL.

18. I love taking pictures. Of myself. I think you all have noticed that already. :)

19. Though I support PETA, I still think fur is fabulous. Bad bad me.

20. After almost a decade after the last episode of Sex and the City, I am still addicted to the series. I have watched the entire series 14 times.

21. I love Chili. Or anything spicy.

22. I once had a relationship that was based purely on physical attraction. The rest were based on mental attraction.

23. I've had a total of 9 serious relationships since I was born. All of them with men.

24. I have 2 finished novels that I want to get published within the year. But I do not know how to start.

25. I do not wear any watches. I used to be obsessive-compulsive about time, so I decided not to wear any watches. Now I learned how to relax and have fun.

Sky, Tree, and Me!

I so love this picture. Thanks Fifi and Iko!