End the Year with Bangs!

Van got bangs before Christmas. Ok, it wasn't that bad, she actually looked good, but I have this Love Hate relationship with Bangs.

I have been trying to grow bangs for most of this year. When I didn't get the desired result, I shaved all my hair off.

What's with bangs anyway?

Emo anyone?

Of Lost Glasses and Rootbeer

I lost my favorite pair of glasses a month ago, it was the only pair I have kept for over a year. It looked good on me, and I held on to the hope of finding it, even going as far as straining to look at my pc monitor while creating reports and reading materials over the internet.

When I decided to get another pair, I could'nt really find a pair of frames that would look like it, or would look even close to it. So I pick this really thin frames that was light weight, and then paid for scratch proof lenses to make myself feel better. After I paid for the overpriced pair of glasses, I looked at myself in the mirror, and though I was able to see real clearer, I felt like an old man was staring back at me.

A couple of weeks ago, an officemate approached me and mentioned that he found a pair of glasses. He described it, and, like a child who was told he'll be getting a new bike for Christmas, my eyes sparkled with hope. I found it, my favorite pair of glasses.

Now, writing this blog entry, I am peering through the only pair of glasses that lasted this long. It was lost, but now it has been found.





*****

When I was a child, my mom would usually bring me to Greenwich, a local pizza fastfood shop, just like Shakey's, or Pizza Hut, and I would look forward to our "lunchdates". And one thing that I would always look forward to is the rootbeer that comes with my "kiddie meal."

I cannot describe how much I craved for Rootbeer. But then, when I started drinking other beverages, I soon forgot the taste of the special drink.

After coming from a week long Medical leave, I saw that there were new vending machines in the pantry.

Lo and behold, sitting inside the vending machine, like puppy with its sad eyes, was a can of ice cold Sarsi, and old favorite that made me reminisce the old times with my mom as we dug in to a medium vegetarian pizza.

I cannot describe how it felt when the cold rootbeer touched my tongue. It was like I was in heaven. I was actually dreaming of being in a Sarsi Commercial, with my hair being gently caressed by the wind as closed my eyes to savour the taste that only Sarsi can bring - a taste of love.

Now I feel ackward as Van looks at me, wondering why I looked that way.

*****

Here's to lost and found things, bringing us back to the past, and making us hope that someday, though impossible, we can go back to the past to relive any moment - any moment we continue longing for.

No to H8.

I am a Filipino.

I believe in the Freedom of Speech.

I am gay.

I believe in Love.

I am a human being.

I believe in EQUALITY.

No matter where you are. Let us make a stand.

No to Proposition 8.

For Ben

It was one fateful July night. Or was it June? I can't remember. What I remembered was that you approached me and asked me where to get a nose ring - just like mine.

The nose ring was faux, I didn't even have a nose piercing. I just wanted to make a statement. And you noticed. I was touched.

Just like previous encounters, I forgot about you. Until you came back.

It was almost a year after that fateful encounter. You came back and you had to remind me how we met. I didn't remember, but I pretened I did. What I remembered was that I was wearing that fabulous faux nose ring. And that for one night, I was happier than usual, dancing on top of the chairs at our favorite bar. That was what I remembered.

Now, 2 years after, when I want to forget, I can't. I keep coming back to the times when I saw you almost everyday. I keep coming back to the glorious stupidity that I brought on to myself. Do I regret any of these? No.

I have prayed, begged, and wished that you were mine, and yet not even a thousand coins thrown at a wishing well would change the fact that I am, in fact, just someone who came to your life - unexpectedly and uninvited.

I am writing this, after almost 3 years from that fateful night I first met you.

The tear dropped from my eye, to my cheek, and I felt pity. For myself. For you. For anyone who is looking for love and finding something that might be it - only to find out that it never is, and will never will.

I never thanked you for everything you have done for me. I guess now is the time.

Thank you for making me realize that I am more than what I perceive myself to be. You made me realize that I am who I am, and I do not have to change for anyone else in the world.

Salamat Ben. Salamat sa lahat.

Paglisan - Isang Maikling Tula

Parang sinilaban ang puso ko
nang malaman ko na iiwan mo na ako.
Mula sa iyong mga labi namutawi
ang mga salitang pinilit kong tanggalin sa aking pagiisip.

Ngunit kahit anong gawin kong pilit,
hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit.
Bakit sa dinami - dami ng mga taong kailangang lumisan,
ikaw pa.

Kaya eto ako, nagdarasal na sana
- sana lang - hindi maisakatuparan ang iyong paglisan.
Dahil alam ko, dito sa kaibuturan ng aking puso,
hindi ko kakayaning wala ka.

10 Years Ago

Ten Years Ago:

I was 16. I only had a few months left in the last year of Highschool, and I was excited. I felt like I was on my way to success. I can't believe it has been ten years. 1998 was the year Spice Girls became a household name. I collected albums (then in tapes) of my favorite artists - Mariah, Madonna, Shania, Spice Girls, Britney. I was not a virgin anymore - and by that time I already knew I was gay. I was gay - but not very happy. I went to church every Saturday night and I first tasted tobacco by this age. I have been smoking ever since.



Five Years Ago:

The year was 2003. I was 21. Fresh out of College, I was on top of the world. I was, by that time, taking review classes for the Board Exams. Didn't take it though. I was afraid I'd fail. I felt like an outcast, I had just come back from Pangasinan and I did not even know who my neighbors were. I didn't have any friends, only my cousins, and I have started going out with them. Alberto's, Gimbals. The Divah was about to be born. :)



One Year Ago:

I had a great job, I had great friends. Come to think of it I still have it! I was already part of the Junior Management of my account in PeopleSupport.



One month ago:

Had all my hair shaved. It has been a month and I can already pull my hair. I decided to shave everything off because I am trying to grow most of my hair back - talk about thinning hair at my very young age...



Five Snacks:
1. Tempura chips - I can't get enough of the yummy shrimp taste.
2. Chocolates
3. Siopao!
4. Krispy Kreme Donuts (glazed)
5. Ensaymada

Five Songs I Know All the Words To:
1. Most Spice Girls songs
2. Better Days by Dianne Reeves
3. I love You Goodbye by Nina/Celine Dion
4. Most Mariah Carey Songs
5. Get Far Shining Star

Five Things I Would Do With $100 Million:
1. Buy my parents a house.
2. Buy my own house.
3. Buy my brother a business.
4. Create my own fashion line.
5. Travel the world with my family.

Five Places to Run Away To:
1. To the Beach!
2. Any coffee shop.
3. Any Starbucks (or nice coffee shop)
4. I'd love to go to Europe. :)
5. Bora bora? :)

Five Favorite TV Shows:
1. Sex and the City
2. Gossip Girl
3. America's Next Top Model
4. Project Runway - too bad they cancelled the new season due to legal reasons.
5. Kay Susan Tayo


Five Greatest Joys:
1. Partying with Friends
2. Weekends
3. Paydays!
4. Having coffee
5. Summer

Thanks Noel!