Thank You.

It is true what they say about emotional pain hurts more than the physical kind. It is the kind of pain that lingers - the kind that you'll never really get over with in a short period of time.

I have been single for 4 months. 4 months and 2 days. I broke up with my ex on June 14th, a day before his birthday. Then he died on July 30. The pain I felt when I realized that I may never see him again did not compare to what I felt when I was informed that he passed due to Meningitis. I was devastated. I was a mess.

It took me a while to get over the loneliness that I initially felt. I mean, I still feel lonely sometimes, in fact I still get into those bouts of depression sometimes. But I am glad to say that I finally am okay.

Yes, there will be times when Sunday mornings would always remind me of staying in bed, holding hands and just talking. That videoke bar I still frequent, where the love story started, would always be one of my favorite places. The train I first rode with him will remain as one of the wildest rides of my life. And these are all going to be a huge part of me.

I would also like to take this time to thank the people who made me feel better after what happened. This was the time that I knew who my real friends are. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

So now,  I am ready. I am ready to face whatever life would bring me.

The Old Playground

Late post...

This used to be my playground.

Spending a week at the place I call home brought back a lot of memories. I seldom come home, you see, and even though I have lived here for most of my life, coming back makes me long for the old days, when the fog came in in the afternoon and these times were spent playing on the street with long forgotten childhood friends.

I used to walk up and down Session Road knowing that the day eventually turned into night – and as the temperature lowers, I walked faster, keeping my heart rate up and myself warm.

It is 1:14 in the morning, the 27^th day of the first month of 2013. Years ago, I would be sitting at my favourite internet shop, complaining about my day, passing time until I had to go home since I had work the next night. There, in the deadly web they call the internet, I have met people, learned new things, brought my carnality to life, and have given my heart the opportunity to get itself broken – several times.

After this stage, I became a social butterfly. I had the world eating through my hand. Everyone knows my name. I was a star. It would take me an entire hour just to go from point A to point B, just because I had a short conversation with the people I meet along the street. Yes, everyone knew who I was, and it made me very, very happy.

However, as time and so called friends came and went, I realized that I need to be somewhere else. Maybe it was the fact that I was getting older and I never really became successful in anything. I was a jack of all trades. I did everything but I mastered nothing, and eventually I was bored with my life. I wanted out.

One thing remained certain, though, my best friends who remained to know who I really was and never really  judged me. They accepted me for who I am, and I cherished every moment with them. It did not really  matter if we saw each other after a few weeks, a few months, or even years. It was like, as my dear sister-from-another-mother Di Anne said, pushing the play button after pressing pause.

Now, as I go back to reality after this very welcome “sabbatical”, I would take the new memories and store them once again inside the treasure chest I call life. I would definitely be back, and when I do, I will be pressing on the play button once again.

This city used to be my playground. This city saw me at the best and worst times of my life. This city showed me who I am and molded me to be who I will be in the next years of my life.

Goodbye for now, Baguio. Til we meet again.